The Fascinating Life and Times of Me

I have created a work of art for you to ponder and admire. Enjoy! You can also create you own, less brilliant work here.

Today Aubrey and Chili went to the vet to get microchipped. They took the kitties to some back room to put in the chips, and Lauren and I had to stay in the waiting room. I think they didn’t want us to see our kitties spazzing out while they injected them with the ginormous needle.

I don’t think Aubrey was a superstar for the vet, but I know Chili gave them hell because she was screaming in the back room. I think she saw Aubey go first and thought, hell no you are not doing that to me. She did a lot of kitty swearing.

Dramatic Reenactment

Both kitties made it through the experience just fine.

KiteFest 2005 would have been awesome if we had gone to it, but certain people didn't want to go, so we cleaned the house instead.



Then Jody and I went to Woodland to give the animal shelter people some of our extra eggs, and I bought mousetraps and daffodil bulbs at OSH. Then we went to Sonic to get slushes and cheese sticks. Sonic is the best.

The most exciting thing that happened all day was that Aubrey caught a bird. She didn't kill it, or even hurt it at all really. But she did try to bring it in the house. It was a REALLY big day for Aubrey. She has never caught a bird before.

There used to be a void in the world. That void is filled with this: http://www.umop.com/rps15.htm

The 7th Annual Mix 96 KiteFest is purportedly Northern California’s BIGGEST and BEST FREE family festival. This homage to the glory, magic and wonder that is all things kites and kite-flying claims to have OVER 20,000 square feet of kites! I think I am looking most forward to the free kite making and flying lessons, but there are also stunt kite displays and a jelly belly kite candy drop.

Look at 'em go!

Now I know what you are thinking: “Gee, Alison, this sounds okay, but what kinds of non-kite entertainment can I expect?” One part of the festival is called FUN ALLEY. It has the word “fun” right in the name, so you know it will be great.

They might let us do this!

Plus, there will be LIVE MUSIC all day featuring some band no one has ever heard of, but we all know that Mix 96 is synonymous with quality music. There will also be a Mix 96 booth where we can pretend like we listen to their station so we can get free stuff.

We can skip this.

There is also a PET AREA where there will be Frisbee dogs, a SAFETY AREA that we can skip, a KIDS CORNER where they might let us go on the bounce house, and a HOME AND GARDEN AREA where we can buy crap we don’t need.

Frisbee Dogs!!!

And, you guys, you might not believe it, but they have ALL YOU CAN EAT ROOT BEER FLOATS at the Root Beer Garden. That is right, for just $2.96 or $9.96 per family, you can gorge yourself on root beer floats (or probably just vanilla ice cream if you are lame like Jody).

Yummy!

This all goes down this Saturday at the Elk Grove Regional Park from 10:00am to 5:00pm. I say we get there at 9 so we don’t miss a second of the awesomeness!

I am well on my way to a gambling addiction, thanks to my $40 win on the Aphrodite 2¢ slot machine. That’s right, I can buy everyone pizza the next time we go out. Although I ended up about $8 down, it was still a pretty good time. The slots were really flashy and shiny, but the best looking ones were 50 cents, $1 or more. We stuck to the 1 and 2¢ slots because we are risk takers, but not huge risk takers. It was super crowded, so most of the really fun looking 2¢ slots were taken by creepy-looking hard-core gambling addict types, and there wasn’t much room for us soft-core newbies.

When Lauren won $50 she looked just like that girl on the right.

We also had some good Chinese food but skipped the buffet because it was like $20. That would have been ½ of my gambling budget!

The LAMEST part about the whole trip was that the slots didn’t take coins! Only dollars and membership cards. So we gathered up and sorted all of our coins for nothing. And there wasn’t that great clattering coin sound when you won. Think of how great $40 in pennies would have sounded!!!

We didn’t do any of the stuff these people are doing, but we did feel bad for the Club 88 live “band.” We did have crazy fun!

In summation:
Money I won: $-8
Total Money Spent at Casino: $21
Number of Free Drinks Received: 0
Number of Native Americans Seen at Casino: 0
Number of Historic Landmarks Seen While Driving to Casino: 1
Numbers of Places Visited Where Photos Aren’t Allowed in the Past 2 weeks: 2

Look at all the pretty colors and lights! And see how happy that lady is? That could be you!

What kind of crazy fun are these people having? My kind of crazy fun!

There are also lots of restaurants including one that's a buffet, and I’m sure they have stores selling crap, so we can have an all around awesome fauxvegas time.

I am so signing up for this.

Unique L.A. School Offers Mule Training

This could be me!

This and this are also worth your attention.

I have discovered what may perhaps be one of the most important websites on the internet ever.

Many of us go about our daily lives wondering, is there a greater force driving existence? According to Bobby Henderson, the universe and everything in it was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


Bobby has written an open letter to encourage the Kansas School Board to teach Flying Spaghetti Monsterism along with Evolution and Intelligent Design. He has a very convincing argument and even a graph that proves FSM's existence. There is also a pretty awesome game that allows you to be Him. And the ideology includes pirates!!!

I think this is a movement I might be able to support.

Lauren, Jody and I visited the Leland Stanford Mansion State Historic Park in Sacramento, California on Saturday, Septemeber 10th. Admission was free because it was Admission Day Weekend.
We spent a while admiring the lovely exterior of the building as we inched forward in the line to get inside. It was kind of like waiting in line for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, except for there was no animal graveyard and the crowd's average age was 55.

Detail of a window incl. creepy mustache man (insert)

One of the things we noticed was all of the windows had fancy things around the upper half. We also noticed that there is the face of some guy with a mustache incorperated into the design. The docent we asked said no one knows who the guy is, but that it might have been the architect putting himself into his work back in 1858. I think it is creepy.

Once we got inside, we found out that it is very lovely inside the mansion, and that they have very nice things, including newly restored carpets! The building is now used by the Govenor to throw fancy parties and stuff. We also got to see the Golden Spike and Emergency Back-Up Silver Spike that symbolized the completion of the transcontinental railroad in 1869.

Mr. Stanford is best known for driving this spike, founding some college, and being a California Govenor.

Other things I learned while visiting the Stanford Mansion:

1. You may not take pictures inside the building (with or without flash)

2. It is nice when things are free, but waiting in a two hour line to see something for free is not so nice.

3. Apparently, some water baron charged gold miners $6 a day (!) to use the water he provided to mine their gold in the late 1850s. Outrageous!

We also went to the state capital, which was awesome.

They made Lauren and I take off our belts so that we could go through the metal detector.

The Capital building dome is pretty on the inside and the outside.

Other highlights of our day included an adorable horse and Jody getting eaten by a sad-looking tree.

It was pretty much the best day ever.

Today, I offer predictions for the future of Television. Step into my TV Time Machine and travel to year 2015:



You might claim I have too much time on my hands, but I'm the one with the TV Time Machine, so clearly I have put my time to good use.

Due to the overwhelming amount of public interest, I have decided to create a weblog dedicated to my wonderful chickens Mellie, Lizzy and Emma. You can check it out here.

Many of my long time readers are aware that I am one of the best chicken ranchers that I know of in the greater Davis area with a flock size of three or less hens. I thought I would catch my fellow fowl fanatics up on the status of my flock.

All of the zero or less people who read my blog might have noticed that the entries abruptly ceased near the end of June. Several of you have not written asking if I died suddenly or had to flee the country and change my identity to escape the feds and the crime lord that I double-crossed. This is just crazy and I have no idea where you would get an idea like that.

What is important is that I now have access to my blog again and can update it with abandon.